Today’s daily write has been spurred on by a Multiple Sclerosis meme that I saw this morning on my daily read of what I affectionately call “the newspaper- i.e. Facebook.”
The meme reads –
“It’s weird, but M.S. can help you appreciate THINGS what you ONCE OVERLOOKED“
So my rewrite of the above meme is this…
“My M.S diagnosis has taught me lessons that I didn’t see coming… I have seen my true worth through the eyes and actions of others and I have seen how my inabilities make others truly feel.
I have never overlooked the behaviours of others but I see things a hell of a lot clearer now that they have revealed their true & selves.
I know my worth in the actions of those who walk beside me without judgement… choosing to see me for whom I have always been & I have seen those who have made the choice to walk along in the far off distance either by judgment or by choice… & who in these communities who it is that I can trust… those who aren’t with me; I know that I should let them be alone to question their own mind & self.”
Let me put my thoughts to you as clear and as simply as I can… “I do not overlook the
actions and or talkings of others… and I do not accept the behaviours and or actions of other people either… but what I do do is… I acknowledge that it is human nature for people to live in question of others.
I take pride in myself when I tell you that I try with all my might to live without judgement of others. Physical characteristics are only just a covering to who people are… I know what judgement feels like so I choose to live my life giving what I can to other allowing them the room to teach me about their life.
I am ever so impressed by someone who comes to me asking questions to help in educating themselves… these very people are the energy that takes away the ignorance of humankind and replaces it with an open mind.
People with Ms are normal people with a box of lucky dips to choose from… each day is unique & no two days are the same… and what you may see in people with Multiple Sclerosis as laziness is to us a moment, a day, or a week where Ms has us by the heartstrings kicking our ass.
For me & “My Story” (My Ms Diagnosis’s Name) our object in life Is to run an untimed gauntlet… Jump through all the hurdles… stacking it from time to time. Incurring painful penalties… for taking on the chore list that we go through every day. There nothing could be worse; than the miscommunications between the body & the brain. For me and “My Story.”
What Ms has done and is doing to me is surely a humanitarian crime…
I have come full circle with my Ms diagnosis… I don’t hide behind it … and work hard at maintaining my life and the things/people that I want in it… I own my shit and under very difficult life-altering circumstances I get up every day to do what needs to be done… and whilst some days are harder than others to muster up the energy to meet the day… I drag my ass out of bed at 7 am most days.
I keep myself either physically busy…(chores or things around the house), or mentally busy (writing, blogging, designing… tutoring or fixing a computer)… I try with all my might to keep my daily workload and a rate and level that works with my daily fatigue levels.
People cannot get how truly see how exhausting the fatigue level is and can get. A simple shower can take me hours to recover from… standing to do the dishes (piled high from no one wanting to do them or even from the weekends visiting hours) can leave me limping and pained for hours to days at a go…
great day… a day without pain meds… or even a day without a new bruise… my wardrobe gets friendly with me and likes to get in my face… door handles are my favourite they are like magnets to my arms. “My Story” my companion Thinks he is the teacher What he isn’t aware of is that I have come stronger in my mind… I now know that it’s my job to teach him… how to live with me. I am living with “My Story” But “My Story will never get hold of me.
But through all that you have read here, the one thing that I hope you take away from this my daily blog post is that “Struggle” is my middle name.
I have learned to embrace my limitations, my struggles and even “My Story” thinking that he has one over me… but I ask you as my readers to see me for who I am… no labels and no Ms diagnosis or even for the attitude that has grown quite a voice… I am nobody different than I was yesterday… when I walked beside you shoulder to shoulder. Today daily blog post titled “Spurred On By An Ms Meme” – Reads – “It’s weird, but M.S. can help you appreciate THINGS what you ONCE OVERLOOKED“
Author. Tanya Kelly
Copyrighted By Tanya Kelly. 2018