Day # 65 – Healing Myself

In today’s daily write; I writing about how I as a person I have given myself the room to heal myself and how I am continuing to heal myself so that I could make room in my world, in my heart, in my mind and most importantly within myself to bring about the changes that will work with me in order to bring myself into my happier and self-actualised me.
I will not go as far as allowing myself to blame others for the rough spots that have plagued my life, I own my share in my unhappiness & am more than ready to continue rebuilding myself into the person that I know exists in me.

I have known hardship & I have lost myself but here I stand, still moving forward, growing stronger each day. I will never forget the harsh lessons in my life & how they made me stronger.

I know now that I am ready for me to love me… farewell to the days that I have said tomorrow is another day… I am so ready for that someday of building and wanting the changes in my day to be today.

In a quote written by Heidi Delliare – LoveWideOpen.com I sit in agreement with her quote that goes like this:-

you-have-to-heal-your-own-heart-and-then-the-32489476.png

What this quote says to me is this: –

in order for my heart
To enter its amended state
I must at first
Own my wows
My heart aches
And uncloak my inner struggles
And let them finally be seen
Own them
And be allowing of me so proud of their journey
Bringing me forth to the me
That is free of the struggles that weigh
Ever so heavily upon me.
Freeing me from my hearts hurt
Delivering me to the changes in my life
That Will shortly after follow.

I know that in the past year I have been writing a fair bit about me, my inner child, my inner hurts, my inner pains, my memories, my life events, the people that surround me… Before I started writing full time again back in January 2018,  I was already aware of the benefits of writing things down. I knew that by writing letters and owning my thoughts that I would be free of my burdens someday.

I knew that the letters and the thoughts that flowed through me; were the very barriers that held me back. I knew back then that I was becoming isolated within and by myself and I knew that if something didn’t change and soon that I would become a made-up version of myself. I was very much in the know that I had become closed off and in need of something or something’s to change deep within me.

Things were piling up in my mind & the stress was starting to show… so I thought what the hell why not go back to the one thing I knew that I could do (write) and mix it with my counselling skills and practices… I sat to begin my writing therapy and have learned that my inner demons were demanding an identity and their story was yelling to be told.

I am not saying that I have pulled out of my writing therapy without opening wounds that I wasn’t in the know of their existence … I knew that I would at some point feel flat and exhausted by the experience but I knew oh too well that my road wasn’t going to be an easy one & I knew that the very part of me that I have forever hidden and ignored would eventually surface.

In process of my issues in me surfacing, I knew that I would face my darkness opening to the barriers buried deep within me I knew that someday these dark moments would someday help me to heal my heart.

I am living & breathing  and I am certainly not 100% free of my demons; but I am free of the hurting heartache that had prevented me from being me. I am not yet fully autonomised, but I am finally free to be me & as open as I can be.


There is a song that sums up my journey of me becoming me… the happier me… the guarded me who knows that I was ready to fight for me and the very ideals that work to make me strong, healing me from my inside out.

This song’s title is the (“Fight Song – By Rachel Platten… it goes something like this:-

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosionsmallboat.gif

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep
Everybody’s worried about me
In too deep
Say I’m in too deep (in too deep)
And it’s been two years I miss my home
But there’s a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

A lot of fight left in me

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong (I’ll be strong)
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Know I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

View The Fight Song Music Video Here


“The Fight Song” reminds me of my strength and metamorphosis into the person of whom I was intended to be “Flaws and All.”

Since writing this piece back in middle of 2018; I have embarked on may self driven journeys & am currently baby stepping it into the changes that I have asked myself to make.
untitled.pngI am after all on a journey of “Becoming My Autonomised Self”… with a tag line blurting out the words “In 2019 I Will Learn To Say Yes To Me… & No To Others.”

Today wont see me to the end of my “Becoming My Autonomised Self” journey but tomorrow I will be that much further own the road for starting my journey.


Written By
Author. Tanya Kelly
365daysomethings.wordpress.com

2 thoughts on “Day # 65 – Healing Myself

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