Day # 71 – ” 100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions – Part 3 – Reflection Questions For Your Emotions “

One of my pinterest pins had the following self reflection set of questions that I though was very interesting. So I sat down and began to answer the questions that were being asked and I thought that my answers and the website were worthy of sharing.

The website offers up 100 questions that are titled “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions” divided into 10 separate sections of 1o questions in each section.

The website & its questions can be seen here at Its All You Boo – By Author
Nadalie Bardo.

I personally have sat down to undertake the challenge of answering Nadalie’s reflective questions as I feel that they will help to settle me in the year of 2019 after helping me to reflect on 2018.

In today’s daily blog post I will be looking at the third set of 10 questions of Nadalie Bardo’s “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions” – a set of questions that Reviews Your Emotions on the year that has just past.

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21. What did you complain about the most?

Complaining is something that we all do, it is our human nature to find fault in things that others around us do.
For me complaining isn’t something that I like to do…. complaining for me is a build up of internalised frustrations that over time build up and build up into a festered mess.These complaining/frustrating moments are from things like Family Alliances, Boundaries & Lines have been drawn on many issues – no one finds that its their place to end these turbulent times & No-one takes on ownership or cause of these moments.Other moments that I found that I complained about were over my right to choice my “selves inner peace” over the connectivity and family unity of extended family, never really feeling like that I am heard when it came to my right to distance myself from my extended family… my complaining seemed to always be in the fight for my right to choose to not be judge or have myself subjected to these moment that burden my soul… I was always asked the same question over and over “what about your husband, how do you think he feels, cant you try for him…?” it got to the stage when I had to scream and shout I just can’t care anymore… I have to put myself first… that after 20+ years of dedication to my husband & family I just had to say enough is enough… I had to give myself the strength to see that acceptance was something that I would no longer seek.

22. What are you most grateful and thankful for?

The things that I am grateful for are just the same as every other persons gratitude list… I am grateful for my “self made family” & how they have grown and bloomed into the greatest of people that they can be… how they have held themselves together through the Family wars and stayed true to who they are, finding their own paths in the world.

● I am grateful to myself for the journey that my return to my writing has given to me.. the dedication that I have showed in writing every day… the release of my inner wows and inner frustrations that have been replace with moments of gratitude and self actualising moments.

More than anything… I am grateful for “My Self Gratitude”
I have so many things to be grateful for… my gratitude hasn’t just been an overnight reality… I have had to learn patience and self-acceptance & I will be the first to admit that being grateful for my own self’s inner working has taken a great deal of time and strength in the acknowledgment fazes of getting to know me.
  • I am very grateful for my attitude; both good and bad (it delivers me from evil and helps me to show others that I am not a person who will be walked over or disregard). My attitude keeps me true to my self & in touch with my core beliefs and inner core values.
  • Through my self gratitude I have learned that I have always had a self sabotaging attitude that has taken me away from who I wanted to be … my optimistic pessimistic attitude that allows me to see the good in the bad and the bad in good has led me to always question myself and the things that I am doing, I am grateful that I am learning to control this element of myself… I look forward now to the changes that I will be able to make that will help me to live my life in a self-fulfilling nurturing environment.
  • I am grateful for my struggles for they have taught me to work hard for the everything that is in my life, no excepting hand out and putting my all into my family and my life’s needs have made me honest and honourable.
  • I am grateful that I am learning to be more patient with myself and others… learning that nothing great in life is just given to you… that the gratitude is in the working towards one’s life’s wants.
  • I am grateful that I can see my impatience in my Multiple Sclerosis diagnoses… I believe that if I was comfortable with my life changing due to the inabilities that my MS gives me that I would never truly learn to cope with future life’s changes and the lifestyle that I would have to be forced to adapt to.
  • I am very grateful that I have become a lot calmer within myself…learning to choose my battles rather than going head-on into snapping at the bitt or the heads of those who piss me off.
  • I am grateful that I do the best that I can do every day for the greater good of myself and my own self-happiness. This, in turn, helps me put my everything into being the person that I am for my a Family.
  • I most particularly grateful for my self-acceptance.. being ok with myself, being comfortable in my own skin (even on the bad days I can see the good in what acceptance of my bad days is trying to teach me).
  • Above all My gratitude plays homage to words that I write every day, it has been s a long way back to my writing and to the download of my thoughts… writing has always meant a lot to me and now that I am back into writing every day I feel less frustrated and much happier within myself.

23. Who or what challenged your worldview or your faith?

The year of 2018 was a year full of many Family ups and downs… sometimes I get so emotionally overwhelmed by the internal Family wars that they often leave me feeling detached.

I have struggled for many years to find my place in my Extended Families timeline… but there was a point just a few years ago when I gave up the fight for acceptance… Acceptance used to mean a lot to me & I often changed myself and my behaviours so that I could find my place and find myself a welcoming place at my families table.

Then one day after 20+ years I found myself looking at myself in my own reflection and couldn’t believe what I was seeing… I was tired and struck down but what I call sparkles emotions; I had become everything that I didn’t want to be… giving yet full of yearn for someone to see me, tired yet fully conscious and aware of how I no longer gave a shit of how people perceived me but harshest of all my reflections was looking at how hard and how tainted the words “unconditional love & family unity” have made me.

I have held in my “what about me” emotions for so long that in 2018 I began to fight back… at first I was going to fight long and hard to find my place and recognition within my extended family’s unit & then suddenly it hit me stop fighting, stop allowing this to be my fight & let that fight be someone else and let them start the long walk and fight back to me.

Family relations, love, loyalty & compassion will always be the very things that challenge my faith.


24. Were you ever “triggered”? By whom or what?

Like every other person in this world “I am triggered by inner wars and stress’s of built up descriptions” – things that I may have aware of and things that fester and build up over time…

These inner wars and stresses are “body conflicting moments” that play havoc on my Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis… I get exhausted easy when these moments arise… but slowly I am learning coping mechanisms and skills that help to alleviate my directed burdens of these moments.


25. What were you most afraid of happening?

What am I most afraid of happening…? Of course like everyone on this planet I am afraid of the moments that bring loss and death to those people that I love and know, I am afraid of unknown events that lay in the winds that serve to alter a persons day or life’s events…

But my number # 1 what am I afraid of thought is directed to my family of course… My thoughts are not just in & or for  myself made family, they are also for my immediate family, my extended family and for the people in my life that I have chosen to be more than just my friends – they are the family that I have chosen for myself.

I am afraid that these people that I hold special relationship and value for will never see or understand the true value of love, affection and gratitude for them… I am afraid that something bad or unforseen may happen before people truly awaken and see the truth worth of their place in my “Self Built & Given Community.” the questions here how many of us truly value the people in our community? How many of us would for go our own prejudices to find an “unconditional” space for each of us in our lives? I am afraid these questions will never find a rhyme a reason or a place to the lives of any of us.


26. What made you the happiest and the saddest?

What mad me happy?
There are many things that made me happy throughout 2018. Some are as follows:-
● Happy to have witnessed the growth & continuing life making changes & choices that my “Self Made Family” are continuing to make. Taking their worlds into their hands and striding through lives making huge steps and strides into becoming who & what they want to be.
● I am so happy and grateful to myself for my gift of my return to my writing.
● I am honoured to have joined an online writing class & whilst the weekly meetings may have folded, we all still remain in contact and have regular meet ups.
● I am grateful that I decided to put my “Bachelors Of Counselling Studies” on hold, giving myself the time to put my dedication to my studies in check.

What Made Me Sad?
A few things made me sad throughout 2018. These things are as follows:-
● I was the saddest when I saw that my eldest Son was not as attached to his 2nd car as he was his first… then watching him look for his 3rd car broke my  heart… he seemed so detached and un-wanting to face looking for yet another car again, the joys of car ownerships was certainly not with him.
● My choice to distance myself from my extended family almost broke me. On one hand I knew that the choice had to be made, I knew that my mental health was suffering and so was my family relationships. On the other hand I internally wanted to remain in my extended families grasp to work on things… in order to make memories and not moments of detachment.
● I lost a few very close friends throughout 2018, each of them meant so much to me and for many different reason. Watching as their family members hearts broke knowing that I was suddenly just an outsider and a person that they know… I felt lost in their grief.


27. Do you have a favorite memory?

Everything that happened in and around 2018 is a favourite memory, even the sad moments and the moments of stress, loss and heartache gave me the lessons that have taught me greatest of lessons and gratitude.

But If I have to choose a favourite memory It would be  the return of my long lost friendship that was 21 years lost to us all… building back our trust and friendship means a lot to me.


28. Is there a memory that you can’t stop replaying your mind?

I try not to dwell on what was yesterday, I remember what was in fondness… choosing to see even my life’s toughest of lessons as moment of inner strength building.

The good and the bad times I replay them all as they show me how far I have come from where I once stood.


29. What was your biggest disappointment?

My biggest disappoint in and around 2018 was deep within myself… my indecisiveness in, on and around my decision to continue or defer my “Bachelors Of Counselling Studies.” I at time wonder have I made the right decision to defer; as becoming a counsellor was my forever dream and want… have I made  the right the right decision? at this moment in time I know I have… my heart wasn’t all the way in it… I have tired and warn out and my call for my return to my love of writing was stronger.

For today I am content in my decision to defer only tomorrow will tell if this decision was the right one.


30. What if anything, worried you and kept you up at night?

Mmmm this is a funny answer… the need for some repairs and or home improvements to my families home made me loose sleep.

We were meant to have a bathroom renovation done that was supposed to be started in June/July and here we are in January 2019 and it hasn’t yet started.

We also are in desperate need of our homes guttering to be… this keeps me awake most night as I know that the longer I leave it on the back burner the worse it will get… The gutters over flow and my moody rained out attitude takes on a whole knew identity of itself.

SUCCESS

Now that you have some evidence from your emotions as to what’s going on in your mind, start to think of ways you can address the underlying issues. Are you too negative, and do you need to be more positive? Perhaps you’re always overthinking everything?

Underlying issues… am I to negative or to positive?
I have been working on myself a lot throughout 2018… I don’t feel that I am either to negative or to positive what I am is at this moment in time content with the personal changes that I have made within myself that allow me to see the value in both the good and bad elements of my life, my emotions, my health… I have always said that I am an optimistic pessimist – that I see the good in the bad and the bad in the good…. today I choose to write my way through my internal questioning moments & push right through to the clearing on the other side.

I am not overthinking things anymore… self growth has allowed me to see the here and now along with the struggles that have me present in my todays moments.


So there it is questions 21 to 30 of Nadalie Bardo’s “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions – Review Part – 3 – Reflection Questions For Your Emotions .” Tomorrow I will explore Part 4 of  Nadalie Bardo’s “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions – it’s title “Review Of Your Daily Life.”

I look forward to exploring more of Nadalie Bardo’s “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions, the end result and or outcomes of my honest reflections of me and my year of 2018 will certainly be an interesting 1.

So how about it…. Challenge yourself to Nadalie’s ” 100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions. ” here at her blog ” Its All You Boo ”

Signed
Author. Tanya Kelly
365daysomethings.wordpress.com


©Nadalie Bardo – “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions. https://itsallyouboo.com/personal-end-of-year-reflection-and-review-questions/?fbclid=IwAR1ZDh24uBWoypAJZF7BiaJLg-_327R0LQsNC9mUGOR_VhfZESduAfOMWyQ

 

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