Since my diagnosis of ” My Story – Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis” – way back in 2014… (“My Story” is the name that I have given to my PPMS companion) I have had to make friends with “My Story”… I even thank him kindly when he makes me crash head first into the walls of my hallway… I don’t particularly find it funny when he trips me up on my many times folded socks (I have small feet and my socks have a mind of their own, together “My Story” and my socks work hard at pissing me off), but I give them a mouthful.. throwing my sox into the washing basket screaming you deserve far worse treatment but maybe a spin in the washing machine will teach you who is boss..
“I have had PPMS for far more years than I have actually had a diagnosis… I just told myself for nearly 20 years that I would be
ok after a good nights sleep… that tomorrow would be a better day… “My Story” decided that he wanted to come out & then he decided that he was here to stay”
It sounds ridiculous… but getting mad only feeds the pain and symptoms… of “My Story” and my PPMS… I have found that humour humiliates both my symptoms and my ass-kicking socks and momentarily I feel a release of it’s at times overwhelming pain threshold that it can at times have over me.
I Have Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, It Can & Will Kick Me In The Ass When It So Has The Need & Or Want To… But Humour Keeps It’s Hold On Me From Knocking Me To The Floor.
I have on many occasions been told that I am way to positive about my PPMS diagnosis “Like Really – Was That A Sentence, A Statement Or A Judgement ?” I have told many people over the years since my diagnosis that there is truly no point in seeing the bad side of my PPMS & its day-to-day struggle… I get up everyday knowing that at this moment in time that there is no cure for Ms, that there is only trials, treatments and day to day struggles…
Crying down & screaming “why me ?” isn’t for me, Ms on some days may have a tight grip on my pain threshold, but I believe that humour and giving it an identity like I have (I call my PPMS “My Story – Ms For Short” keeps the strong hold and the amount of medications that I have to take down to the minimum.
I do have bad days and there are days when my fatigue and pain levels are through the room, there are days when I find new bruises on my body and marvel at the
colours that they come out in & there are days when my furnishings and my wall structures & door try to make friends with me…. I do have bad days… I do have days when I find myself in bed but it’s my mind, body & souls choice to get up everyday and see each day as a chance to see a new dawns breaking & the end of the days sun’s setting.
I want those who question what Ms is truly like, is it a chronic illness that gives its diagnosee’s symptoms that can be used for sympathy or empathy from others… ? to those people I say “I hope that you never are on the position where the Ms Karma but has its sight aimed and driving directly for you… Ms is not an illness that can be faked – it is a truly painful chronic condition with far more symptoms than this blog post covers.
Ms is a chronic, often disabling disease that attacks the central nervous system (the brain and the spinal cord). … The progress, severity, and specific symptoms of MS in any one person cannot be predicted.
No two people with Ms suffer the same way, the symptoms and levels of disability vary from person to person. Multiple sclerosis is not contagious, but it is progressive and unpredictable. … A person with MS can will and does learn to live with their day-to-day symptoms and their level of disability…
I want people to know that people with Multiple Sclerosis are real people with real feelings & they can most defiantly hear you when they hear people say “are they faking ?, are they for real ? Ms warriors are approachable people, they may surprise you in their knowledge and life’s lessons that they have learnt for their years of living with Ms and it many varying symptoms.
I will put it to you way ….
Stop Starring, Stop Questioning & sit down and learn something from someone who lives each day with Ms in their life… Ms isn’t curable and it certainly isn’t contagious… & Ms warrior are people with real lives, they work, they have families, they are mothers, fathers, daughters & sons – Ms warriors are built tough because they know what it is like to fight for the strengths that they carry in their stories.
” I refuse to use MS as a crutch or an excuse for the bad days that may block my day-to-day paths, I put on a brave face each & everyday… wearing strength & inner perseverance like a super hero cape even when the days have me feeling like I have no energy to power on.”
” I May Have Ms, But Ms Doesn’t Have Me !! “
Get Back Up Again by Anna Kendrick
I’m not giving up today
There’s nothing getting in my way
And if you knock knock me over
I will get back up again, oh
If something goes a little wrong
Well you can go ahead and bring it on
‘Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again
Whoa oh oh oh oh, get back up again, whoa oh oh oh oh oh (I’m okay)
Whoa oh oh oh oh
And if you knock knock me over, you knock knock me over
I will get back up again
I’m marching along I got confidence
I’m cooler than a pack of peppermints
And I haven’t been this excited since
I can’t remember when!
Please Watch This Beautiful Video Clip By Anna Kendrick – Titled ” Get Back Up Again ” & Listen To It’s Energising Words & Know That This Is How I Truly Feel When I Am In The Cross Hairs Of “My Story & My Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis Bad Days.I draw strength and the courage that takes up much of my energy because I have a want and a will to live… I know what’s important to me & I know that my Family & Friends give me the air in my lungs to see the bad to through to their rises and falls.
Being strong isn’t always an easy feat… but I do the best that I can in my every day’s journey’s.
Author. Tanya Kelly